Where can I get help for my sexual thoughts about children (as an adult)?

The good news is that there is help available. Help comes in many forms and the best place to start is by working with a professional, a therapist who specializes in working with people with concerns about their sexual behaviors and feelings. A counselor experienced in sexual behaviors and feelings can help you address your questions and concerns. One of the kindest things you can do for yourself is to get support so that you don’t feel alone or isolated. A counselor can help you do that, and also support you to identify and take next steps to address any safety risks and to have a happy life overall. You deserve that!

Where to find a counselor for adults with sexual thoughts about children.

There are many ways to find a qualified counselor and often the best way is to start with your insurance carrier, if you have insurance. If you cannot find a counselor, there are still online resources. And also look at this List of Resources for People Concerned About Their Own Thoughts and Behaviors. You can look for a counselor here if you have insurance, or see if any of the other support resources might be available to you.

No matter what, it is important to have someone to talk to. For more information about how to ask for help, reach out to our helpline.

And take a look at our sister site's tip sheet on How to Ask for Help When You Are Troubled By Your Own Thoughts About Children.

If I talk to a counselor about my sexual thoughts, will they report me?

We understand you feel like you are taking a risk even asking this question. This is very brave of you.

No, a counselor should not make a report unless they feel strongly that you are at risk to harm someone. Typically this happens when a person shares that they have a plan to sexually abuse a child or they disclose that they have abused a child in the past.

Therapists and many other professionals are mandated reporters, which means that they are legally required to report any current abuse or neglect of anyone vulnerable, which includes all kids under age 18. They must also file a report of past abuse if the person is still a child or teenager considered a minor in their state.

If you tell your therapist that you are having sexual thoughts about younger children, they would not need to report anything, as no child is being harmed. However, not all therapists are trained to work with people who struggle with this, and they can sometimes take actions, such as making a report to the police or local child protection service based on misinformation or bias. It’s best to seek out a knowledgeable specialized professional who has experience in helping people with their uncomfortable and often unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings.

We can help you get started finding a professional to help you. Text, email, chat or call our helpline.