Where can I find counseling for youth to address concerning sexual behaviors?
This is a really good question, and you have a right to know how counseling works.
A therapist is an ally: someone who is on your side to help you understand your own motivations, strengths, and parts of yourself that you want to maybe change. Finding a good fit with this person is important, as ideally you’ll want to talk about areas of your life you may not have shared with anyone else. Though some people go to therapy for big issues, many other people work with counselors to talk about everyday stuff and to get support generally.
How can counseling for youth help?
A knowledgeable professional can help you learn why you may struggle with certain behaviors, or why some things may seem exciting to you but you feel wrong for even thinking about them. A counselor can support you to feel like you better understand yourself and what you’re into.
And then a counselor can help you think about what changes you might want to make; what behaviors you might want to change. They won’t “make” you do anything but will support you to decide what will make you feel better about yourself and what you feel capable of doing. You are in change - it’s your life, and you are the only one who can decide what next steps you want to take in your life.
Not all counseling is about looking at possible problematic behaviors and thoughts. People also find counseling helpful if they have experienced some sort of abuse in their own life. Counselors can help people who have been abused feel safe again and to help them begin their own healing process, whatever that looks like - since it is different for everyone.
Therapy can be an environment where you can learn to build self-esteem and self-confidence, and where you can process feelings and memories that may be affecting your relationships, behaviors or thoughts. You actually don’t have to have a specific concern about your own behaviors. No matter what is going on for you right now, it’s important to remember that everyone deserves a place to privately think about what’s going on in their lives...and in their heads - without judgment.
The other FAQs on this page may provide some more helpful information about what kinds of help and support are available. The WhatsOK helpline can help you think it through, too. Text, chat, email, or call us.
How do I find the right kind of counselor for youth?
Not all counselors or other mental health support professionals have specialized training and experience to work with kids and young adults, or with people who have concerns about their sexual thoughts and behaviors, including having feelings of sexual attraction for younger children. It’s important to find someone who will be able to provide a safe, non-judgmental, and confidential place to talk about the questions or concerns you have specific to sexual behaviors and interests. Our helpline counselors can talk to you about how to locate these specialized services.
Finding the Right Fit
It is important to find someone who does have experience and education that prepares them to work with young people about sexual behaviors and feelings but equally important is finding a counselor who has a helping style that meets your needs.
Searching for a therapist or counselor is also about finding a good match with the professional you are going to be working with. You may find that the first person you talk to doesn’t feel like a good fit - that’s okay! The most important thing is that you feel comfortable and supported in this therapeutic relationship and that you are able to share what you need to. You are absolutely allowed to keep looking until you find the right person.
It can be helpful to think about some questions that you would like to ask a potential counselor before you meet them. This will help to show you whether this is a safe person to disclose to, and how they may respond. Here are some examples:
“Have you ever worked with someone who is worried about who (or what) they are sexually attracted to?”
“How would you support someone who disclosed sexual thoughts about a kid?”
“How do you help people? What counseling techniques do you use?”
Everyone deserves to have professional support during times when they are struggling most.
We know it can be scary to open up to someone about something so personal. See our FAQ If I talk to a counselor, will they report me for my thoughts? to learn more about how to navigate this topic.
Contact our free, confidential helpline if you need help finding a counselor or have more questions about what counseling might be like.