I read online that I could be a pedophile, could that be true?
A young person reached out to us recently feeling really worried because they read a post online that talked about pedophilia. The post they read said that any adult who feels attracted to a child or youth (someone under the age of 18) is a pedophile. We cleared some things up for this person, and thought that others might need to hear this information as well.
What does “pedophile” mean?
First, it’s important to know that pedophilia is a mental health diagnosis for someone 16 years or older with an ongoing sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children, meaning young children usually 11 years or younger who haven’t gone through puberty yet. Someone who is diagnosed with pedophilia may be exclusively attracted to young children, or they may also feel attracted to people their own age.
Not every person who has sexual thoughts and feelings about children will fit the criteria for pedophilia, and not every person who is diagnosed with pedophilia will sexually abuse a child. In fact, many people who fit the criteria for pedophilia live happy, fulfilling, and safe lives — never sexually harming a child or anyone else.
Why is it important to only use the word “pedophilia” to refer to a mental health diagnosis?
The term “pedophile” is used to describe someone diagnosed with pedophilia, but is also frequently used to label and shame someone else, often without knowing anything at all about that person’s sexual thoughts or feelings. As pedophilia is a mental health diagnosis, we do not label someone by this diagnosis, so calling someone a pedophile only makes people feel bad and does not support anyone who might otherwise reach out for help with concerns about thoughts they are having.
Only a licensed medical or counseling professional, like a therapist, psychiatrist, or doctor can assess or diagnose pedophilia. No one on the internet can say someone else is a pedophile, and often the opinions of those posting on social media are not based in fact, but on misconceptions and stigma about those diagnosed with pedophilia, or they are using this word to bully and harass someone.
How do you differentiate what online information about pedophilia is credible and what’s not?
The internet can make it really easy to get answers to questions that come up for us all. We can Google something, and receive AI generated answers or have pages of information to scroll through that answer our questions. Or we can ask something on social media platforms like TikTok or Reddit and get personal responses from people with strong opinions. But how can we tell whether what we are reading is based in fact or just on the opinions of others? How do we know what online information is credible and reliable?
Imagine this: you go on Reddit to ask a question about pedophilia, and you get back 100 responses from people who are all saying something different. How do you know which response is the true answer to your question?
Credibility about pedophilia on social media
Most often, you don’t. It is a natural reaction to gravitate towards the responses about pedophilia which align with our own beliefs and opinions. When we are in an anxious or panicked state about something, it’s also really easy to be drawn towards the responses that catastrophize or insinuate the worst possible scenario about pedophilia.
When we get information from people online who are not experts on the topic of pedophilia, what we are seeing is opinion based mostly on what they have heard or what they believe. These are not facts, and should not be taken as the truth. That doesn’t mean that some people online may be relaying correct information, but there is no way to verify that what they are telling us is true. Social media sites are not the appropriate place to get information, especially about sensitive topics or topics that can elicit strong emotions like pedophilia or sex abuse.
Credibility about pedophilia on search engines
When we use a search engine to ask a question about topics like pedophilia, we are typically given AI generated answers with a list of websites where we can learn more information. Some of these sites may be using research to back up their answers, or may be written by professionals on the topic. But other sites may not use research and may not review and assess where this information is coming from. An example is Wikipedia. Anyone can write information on the site. They do have guidelines for posting, and moderators do try and make sure that what is being posted is factual. But it can take time for moderators to correct the information, and in that time people may be reading something that is not completely true. That’s why many educators discourage people from using Wikipedia as a source of information, especially for misunderstood topics like pedophilia.
Reputable sites will typically cite where they are getting their information from so that people can “fact-check” on their own to make sure that what they are reading is true. It’s typically a good idea to get information about pedophilia from a well known and reputable site, especially when it comes to medical or mental health information.
Why is getting reliable and credible information about pedophilia online important
When we read something online that isn’t based on research or fact, and we come across something that is inaccurate, this can influence what steps we take —and it may direct us in the wrong direction. This can also influence the way we feel, potentially increasing distressing feelings when perhaps it doesn’t need to. When you are getting accurate answers to your questions about pedophilia, you are in the best position to know how to navigate situations.
If you have questions about a medical or mental health issue like pedophilia, there are reputable sites online — like the Association for the Treatment & Prevention of Sexual Abuse and Safer Society Foundation — where you can get basic information. But, we want to stress - information you read online, even from a credible source, does not replace professional advice or diagnosis from a licensed therapist, psychiatrist, or doctor. For an official pedophilia diagnosis, it’s important to seek out professional support. A couple of resources we frequently cite are ATSA (the Association for the prevention and treatment of sexual abuse) and Safer Society Our helpline can help you figure out the best way to get answers to your questions.
Finding support about pedophilia concerns
Having thoughts and feelings alone does not mean that any one person is bad; our sexual attractions can be complex and sometimes difficult to figure out on our own. They can change over time, and sexual thoughts about younger children can come up for many different reasons.
Our Blog Why do people have sexual thoughts about younger children? and our blog Wondering about sexual thoughts involving younger children provides more information.
Asking questions is a great first step! The more any one understands about their own thoughts and feelings, the better able they are able to make safe decisions. And there are counselors who can help you explore your personal thoughts and feelings, safely and respectfully. Our helpline consultants are here to help anyone learn more and take steps to find additional support to answer their questions. Reach out for free and confidential support.
