A kid I know is being sexually abused, how can I offer peer-to-peer support?

Here is an example of an email that we received from someone who was concerned about a peer online who may be experiencing sexual abuse.

“I saw another kid post online about how his parents treat him, and I feel like he might be being sexually abused at home. I don’t know if I should say something, or tell an adult about it. What can I do?”

The internet connects youth with all kinds of people, including those going through tough situations. Sometimes, young people notice something online that makes them worry about someone else.

Here’s how we responded to this person:

First, it’s really brave of you to want to help. It shows that you care and that you’re using empathy—imagining what someone else might need to feel safe. That’s an important skill, and reaching out for advice is a great first step.

Getting Support from an Adult to Help a Peer Online Being Sexually Abused

It can feel overwhelming to figure out how to help someone in this situation. You don’t have to do it alone. Is there an adult you trust that you can talk to about this? This could be a parent, teacher, coach, or another relative.

You might say something like, “Someone I know online is sharing really scary stuff, and I think they might be abused. I want to help them, but I don’t know what to do. Can you help me figure it out?”

This is really complex! You don’t need to hold all of this alone. A trusted adult can guide you on what to do next and might have ideas about how to support the person you’re worried about.

Reaching Out to a Peer Online Being Sexually Abused

If you and an adult decide to message this person, you could say something like:

“I saw what you shared, and it sounds like you might not be safe. You deserve to be treated with respect and care. There are people who can help, like a school counselor, teacher, or another adult you trust.”

You can also share our helpline as a place this person can reach out to, as well as these resources for Youth Crisis and Support Lines to help them find professional help. Encourage them to reach out to someone in their life for support.

Reporting Your Concerns About a Peer Online Being Sexually Abused

Another option would be for an adult to help you report your concerns about what might be happening. Although this can be difficult if you don’t have a lot of information about the person, a report can still go a long way in helping to make sure this other kid stays safe and receives the support they need. Typically, suspected abuse of a minor would be reported to Child Protective Services in the state the person lives in, or to the police in the town they live in. If you have information, like their real name, the state or town they live in, and some details about what may be happening, an adult could help make a report like this.

If you don’t have access to this kind of identifying information, an adult might make a report with Cybertipline instead. On their online reporting form, you can select that your concern is about sexual abuse of a child (happening offline), and you can include any information you do have about this person (like their screen name and the platform they post on). All reports have the potential to get passed on to the authorities for investigation.

Taking Care of Yourself When You Worried About a Peer Online Being Sexually Abused

Hearing about someone else’s struggles can be hard, especially when it’s something serious like abuse. Make sure you talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling. Sharing your worries will not only help you feel better, but it will also make it easier to keep helping the person you’re worried about.

Remember, you don’t have to deal with this alone. The internet can connect us to amazing things, but it can also expose us to difficult situations. By seeking support for yourself, you’ll be better prepared to offer support to others.