Why does consent matter?
At WhatsOK, we talk a lot about how important consent is. Someone reached out to us with a good question: “I keep hearing about consent. Why is it such a big deal?”
What is consent?
This is such an important question – and everyone should be asking it! Consent is a clear and enthusiastic YES between two or more people, indicating permission to do something. Consent to engage in any sexual behavior with another person is critical to give and to get before starting any sexual activity.
Consent is more than just a legal obligation, it is a way to ensure respect and physical and emotional safety for both you and the other person.
Consent must always be freely given, without force, manipulation, or threats. Consent is an ongoing conversation that should happen every time people engage in sexual activity. And a person has the right to change their mind at any time! Just because someone said YES before, doesn’t mean that they will next time.
Consent never involves assumptions about the other person’s wants and needs. It is important to talk openly with your sexual partner about boundaries and expectations for sex, including what sexual things you are both comfortable with and which ones might be off the table. To be clear - NO means NO, AND if you do not hear a YES, then this is a NO.
Do you have more questions? Reach out to our helpline for free, confidential support from our expert counselors.
Our blogs: “Can my girlfriend agree to sex if she is 15?” and “Can people say no without actually saying it?” give some more insight into the importance and scope of consent.
Why is consent important?
In short: Consent is a clear and enthusiastic agreement between two or more people.
Consent is about more than sex.
Basically, consent is about the right to have control over your own body, and the ability to say what is and is not OK. It should be a part of our everyday lives and interactions, from casual hugs to sexual activity. Consent gives us the ability to say NO to anything that we are not comfortable with. And consent tells us what others want so that we can respect their boundaries.
Think of it this way: If you have to pressure or threaten someone into sex, you'd be actively harming them. And at that point, could you even really enjoy it? No! Loveisrespect.org is another good resource to learn more about consent.
Consent outside of sex.
Being a good friend, family member, student and even coworker means thinking about consent in all kinds of interactions. The next time you go to give someone a hug, or post a picture of you and a friend on social media, take a minute to check in with them that it’s alright and where their boundaries are. If they say NO, it’s important you respect that limit that they have placed without pressuring or coercing them into it. Just as you would want them to do for you!
Do you have more questions about consent? Our helpline counselors are here to answer your questions, talk through situations and connect you with resources and support around sexual boundaries, safety and healthy relationships. Contact us for more.
