I’m underage and I saw porn accidentally - is that OK?
It might feel like sexual content is everywhere you look - on TV, in movies, video games, and especially online. Most people often have access to the internet at a young age for things like watching media, connecting with other people, and even school work. So it makes sense that at some point young people might come across porn or other explicit content accidentally.
We’ve heard from kids as young as 11 who feel concerned that they saw something they feel they shouldn’t have. It can be confusing when you see something that you know you might not be supposed to, but it’s also completely normal to be curious about bodies and sex, and it is OK to feel interested in the sexually graphic content you saw accidentally. Sometimes you might view images and videos or read content that make you feel stimulated or good. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But porn is not the right place to learn about bodies and sexuality. Instead, trusted adults and organizations like ours can teach you about safe ways to learn about and explore these topics.
Know that you are not alone. We receive so many questions from young people about what they are seeing that we created a whole section of our FAQs about Sexual Content, and in particular an FAQ Is it OK to look at porn?
What you can do if you’re underage and come across porn online
Some young people feel really affected by seeing sexual content and images online. It can bring up some confusing and uncomfortable feelings. Some people feel worried or ashamed about what they saw. Other people feel really interested in it and want to continue to look for this kind of content.
If you come across porn online, it’s safest to exit whatever site you are on and take a step back from your device. Find a safe and trusted adult that you can talk to about what you saw so they can take steps to make sure you are able to stay safe online. It might feel exciting to keep looking, or to search for other similar content, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. But it isn’t usually the safest choice to make.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you have them — about sex, sexuality, relationships, your body, or even porn. It’s important that you feel like you have somewhere that you can get the answers to your questions answered in a safe and accurate way. It’s understandable that it might feel awkward or embarrassing to bring this up, but the adults in your life should be prepared to answer questions like this. And if they’re not, they should let you know and try to find out a way to get you those answers.
If you’d like to speak with a trained adult via text, chat, or email, reach out to our confidential and anonymous helpline for a judgement free conversation.
Why porn isn’t the best way to learn about sex
Please know that sex and bodies are not shameful, and it is completely normal to be curious, and to have feelings about what you are seeing. But porn is not real; it doesn’t show what real, healthy relationships or sex actually looks or feels like. Porn often shows unsafe and unhealthy sexual situations, like violence and a lack of consent, pleasure imbalances geared toward male pleasure and ignoring or invalidating female experiences, and a lack of representation for those who identify as LGBTQIA+ . Watching this kind of content can make it seem like what you see in porn is how things should be in real life, but that’s not true. These messages can make it harder to understand healthy relationships and boundaries as you grow up.
Porn has become normalized, even for young people, in a way that makes it seem like everyone is watching it or that you have to watch it to fit in, or even that sex is always violent or non consensual. But that’s just not true, and there are other ways that youth can get information about sex. We are not judging porn to be bad, evil, or sinful, but the reality is that if porn is your only way of learning about sex and relationships, it is likely that you will have information that is wrong, and perhaps even harmful, and it can become an unhealthy way to perceive relationships and sex.
Places youth can find healthy sexuality information
Here are some safe and reputable places where you can get accurate information that’s important to learn about about bodies, sex, sexuality, healthy relationships, consent, boundaries, and many other topics:
Sex, Etc.: An organization by teens for teens that has articles and videos on identity, masturbation, sex, and what’s normal and healthy for your body
Scarlateen: A sexuality and relationships education and support organization for youth and young adults.
Amaze: Amaze is an educational video resource tool for both children and teens ages about their bodies.
Info for Teens (Planned Parenthood): Information for teenagers about their changing bodies, sexual and reproductive health, relationships, and consent
