I’m worried my friend is being trafficked. How do I help them?

Recently we heard from someone who found themselves worried about a friend’s safety. They had noticed some changes in their friend, like suddenly dating someone that their friends have never met, having more expensive things like nice clothes and a new phone, and being absent from school more and not wanting to talk about why.

They didn’t know what to do or say to their friend, but they had learned about sex trafficking in school and they had a gut feeling about was what was going on with them. They wrote in to us asking what they should do to help their friend, and we were able to talk them through what their next steps look like. For more information about what sex trafficking is and what warning signs might look like, check out our FAQ What is sex trafficking?

Here’s some of what we told them…

Checking in with your friend

It can be scary to think that someone you know, like a friend, is being exploited or manipulated and that their safety could be at risk. Your friend is lucky to have you looking out for them.

It sounds like you’ve noticed some changes in your friend’s behavior that feel like warning signs that they may be experiencing trafficking. Seeing a couple of changes happening for your friend doesn’t necessarily mean that they are being trafficked. These kinds of warning signs can also come up when someone is dealing with other heavy or complex issues. But, it’s important to trust your gut when it’s telling you something is off. And if you are seeing many warning signs in your friend it’s okay to let them know you’re worried about them.

You can let your friend know that you care about them, that you’re worried about them, and that there IS help if they need it. You might say something like:

“I’ve noticed some changes lately that have me worried about your safety. If anyone is asking you to do things that feel scary or uncomfortable, you can talk to me about it and together we can find a safe adult to help. I care about you, and want you to feel safe.”

There’s a chance that they may not be in a safe position to share what they are going through, and they may deny that they are experiencing trafficking. They may also not be able to identify that what is happening is sex trafficking and say that they are doing this because they want to. Don’t give up hope - there are other things you can do if you still feel like your friend is at-risk.

Getting Adults Involved

I want you to know that you don’t have to figure this out alone. So think about someone like a parent, friend’s parent, teacher, extended family, or even a teacher or coach. Really, any adult you can share this with who you know will take you seriously. Once you explain what your friend has shared or what warning signs you have seen, they can take action to help your friend.

You can also encourage your friend to talk to an adult in their life that they trust. If they’re still going to school, you could encourage them to talk to a teacher, the guidance counselor, or even a coach or teacher’s aide they trust. Maybe you would feel comfortable offering to be there for them however they need—-like walking with them to the teacher’s office, or standing with them as they share.

Maybe they still don’t feel right talking to someone face to face. Let them know they could call the National Human Trafficking Hotline. This hotline may be helpful for them in figuring out what other steps to take, and to plan for safety. They can call the hotline at 1.888.373.7888, by text at 233733, or visit the site to live chat.

Checking In With Yourself

Make sure you notice how all of this is affecting you. Even helping someone get out of a bad situation can take a toll. Having support as you and your adult ally take next steps is really important. I hope that there is someone you can turn to right now when you need to share your feelings, fears, and to plan for next steps. You might even consider asking your parents to help you find a therapist through your insurance, doctor, or a local mental health agency. This is big, and you don’t need to hold it all alone. Even getting short-term support from a therapist can make a difference.